Spring has come my way!

"I haven't been this happy and content in about 3 years" I just said it, without thinking. Just after I did, I was like "my my my, that is sooo true" SO, I'm happy! Despite my constant battle with my demons and mornings when I can't wake up to go to work simply because I just do not have the energy to face this shit. Despite my Joburg angst, that eats away at me every day...and this habit of doing the same thing over and over again at the same places with the same people. Despite the fact that I have no freakin clue where i'm working or living next year.

I'm freakin over the moon. A major contributing factor was the miraculous realisation that I'd been falling for "men" who had very little self esteem. I remembered that I like that I'm taller than most women you know and that I like my overzealous behaviour. And my inability to keep my feelings to myself. And my particularly large feet. And my choice of clothes. And my dislike for particularly childish, oblivious behaviour.

I guess I've been terribly cruel to myself. I guess I stopped a long time ago looking at me through my eyes. As silly as it sounds, if feels like i've been living in a huge, thick grey cloud and spring has just decided to come my way.

FUUUUUUCK!!!! What a waste of time....but we learn and grow...and buy freakum dresses..and look fab and remember the teachings of Sex and the City and realise that we live in one of the greatest cities in the world..with some of the gutsiest individuals in our history...and that life ..ooh this life...has sooo much to give...and that whenever we like...we can take a break from it all and go somewhere far far away...but not to run away...cos we might just not come back...or see just how good this is!