I get over the highs...I think

I found some much needed clarity late Sunday evening. My panic stricken self could not sleep. My mind was racing through all the possibilities. I felt the foolishness rushing back into my system. I was losing again. As my heart pumped a bit too hard and too fast, and my hands shook uncontrollably, the tears refused to stream down my face and hence depriving me of much needed relief...I asked for strength...Over and over and over and over again....until my prayer became a chant...until my heart beat calmed to its normal tempo, until my hands stopped shaking, until the anxiety that kept me awake melted away. I knew that no matter what the actual details were, I would be okay. I took a stance to not be swayed by the actions of others. It's okay...I do, really get over the highs, I think....

I shall continue to ask for more and more strength...I think I'm going to need it!