I woke up early on Friday morning, in desperate need of some good ol' mommy love. The desire to escape was overwhelming. Despite the millions of big city long week activities that were before me, I just didn't want to be here. So much so, that the chill of that winter morning couldn't stop me. I knew that if i partook in the partying, I'd go right back to where I no longer want to be and trust me when I say, that ain't no place to be for anyone. And so I wept, because my decision meant that I would not get a chance to see friends I haven't spent time with in a while, people I missed dearly. But I knew that it was something I had to do....

And so I went home in an attempt to escape the rush. I don't go home often, despite the fact that home is just in Pretoria. So it's always quite a thing to go back there and be in a completely (nicotine and alcohol starved) mode. I never think I'll survive, but somehow, I always do.

It was great...All I had was my very funny mother who keeps me entertained and knows when to let me be when I just want to chill. And so I read, slept, cooked, laughed, chilled hard, drank a lot of green tea and felt completely at peace with myself. I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to think about coming back to whatever I was running away from. I started thinking that it would be great if i just stayed there for a while. Wouldn't it be nice to just run away...and never come back?

And then Sunday comes. My brother comes to fetch me, taking me right back to Jozi mode. I have a good ol' time with the boys and long after everybody has left, myself and my beloved brother from another mother, start drinking like there ain't tomorrow, as we always do when we're together. I can feel my weekend of sobriety quickly slipping away.

The next morning, comes the hangover from hell and the realisation that I can't run away forever...and that I have to deal with shit.....But I know that my mother is there when I need her...and that I have my brother from another mother too...and my beloved wise friend who always knows what to say...but above all, i have me, my shit, and a whole lotta dealing to do, on my own...