I fell ill a couple of months ago

I fell ill a couple of months ago, landed up in hospital and stayed there for four days. I will not go into the details of this excruciating experience but hope that the torture will spawn a hot movie script or drama series. When I did come out of the hospital though, apparently healed and ready to get back to my old self, I had lost a whole lot of weight. My clothes no longer fit. Not even my panties fit! I was depressed. I was no longer the fresh faced chubby cheeked me I used to be.

And so I went into the real world…with my clothes hanging off my body. I was met with compliments about how hot and lean I looked, these days. Which diet was I on? Was I not happy that I had lost so much weight? Ooh, aaah…blah blah blah. SHUT UP! I am ill! I do not like this body I am in! I saw the pictures and that is not my idea of sexy. My boobs have deflated. The little booty I used to have has sommer net disappeared. The clothes that I love do not fit anymore. My eyes have sunk into my skull and that’s the worst thing that could happen to these beautiful big eyes. No, I do not want to be rake thin.

But mostly, I was met with shock from people I know. I could not bear the endless comments about how thin I looked. Was I ill? What did I have? I had to explain this terrible experience I wanted to forget to everyone I knew, over and over again. I was told that I did not look myself (like I did not know that already.) Was I on vitamins? Am I eating properly? Do I have AIDS? Yes, some did ask this even if it was in jest. And I know some asked themselves in my absence. SHUT UP! I already know these things you are telling me so I don’t need to hear them over and over again. Stop bugging me with your concern about my health, weight blah blah blah! Yes, I am well aware of the fact that the little booty I used to have has sommer net disappeared. And no, dear friend, I do not have AIDS not that it’s any of your business.

I know I’m ranting and have sorta lost the point. I guess that is the point of a rant but the initial purpose of all of this was to say something to this effect: Losing this much weight has taught me to love the body that I have (or used to have?). I used to wish to be thinner, be able to wear things I couldn’t wear. I thought it would be great if my curves would be just a little narrower. I thought it would make me feel better about myself.

Now? Well, now I want my booty back and I want my boobs to go back to their original upright full position. So I am going to take a friend’s advice and use this as an excuse to “munch munch munch”. Yummy yummy, indeed….I’m working on it!